Growing Up with Divorced Parents: The Rollercoaster You Didn’t Sign Up For (But Here We Are)

March 23, 2025

Ah, growing up with divorced parents—what a ride!

It’s like being on a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for, with the added bonus of unexpected loop-de-loops and the occasional emotional whiplash. But hey, you survive it, don’t you? And sometimes, you even thrive. Let’s talk about the experience of growing up with divorced parents, the good, the bad, and the “wow, did that just happen?” moments. Spoiler alert: You might not have asked for this life, but it’s probably made you the strong, resilient, slightly sarcastic person you are today.

The minute your parents tell you they’re divorcing, you’re hit with a cocktail of emotions—sadness, confusion, anger, and a dash of guilt. It’s like a confusing buffet of feelings that you never really asked to be a part of. You’re basically in a constant state of, “Wait, is this a bad dream, or is this real life?” You might have even googled “how to cope with parents splitting up” at 2 AM (no shame).

But here’s the thing: it’s all normal. It’s okay to feel like your world has been shaken up like a snow globe on a coffee table. The important part is that you let yourself feel those emotions, even if they’re messy.

One of the first things you’ll notice after the divorce is the whole “living in two places” situation. If you’re lucky, you’ll have two homes, two bedrooms, and double the number of snack cabinets (which, let’s be real, is the dream). If you’re not so lucky, you’ll probably spend your time bouncing between houses like a human ping-pong ball, trying to remember which toothbrush goes where. And let’s not forget the new schedules because who doesn’t love a good calendar update in the middle of a life crisis?

Pro tip: Be kind to yourself during these transitions. It’s okay to feel like you’re living in two different universes with new rules every week. At least you can make two different types of cereal at both houses. That’s a win, right?

One of the biggest emotional hurdles is the whole “picking a side” thing. Your parents probably don’t want you to choose between them, but deep down, you might feel like you’re stuck in a “choose your fighter” situation. It’s like being in the middle of a reality TV show and, spoiler alert, you’re not even getting paid for it. Here’s the thing: You don’t need to pick sides. Trust me, loving both parents does not mean you’re betraying anyone. It just means you’re a decent human being who doesn’t want to star in their own drama series. So, breathe. Be honest with yourself and your parents. It’s OK to love both of them without feeling guilty.

While it may feel like the universe is throwing every curveball at you, you’re learning how to roll with it. You’re building resilience without even realizing it. Handling multiple schedules? Check. Navigating emotional chaos? Double check. Learning how to be flexible and adaptable? You’re practically a yoga master at this point. Yes, it’s tough, but growing up with divorced parents teaches you how to bounce back from things that don’t go according to plan. Sure, you might be a little cynical now, but you’ve earned it. Resilience? You’ve got it in spades.

If you’re lucky, your parents might remarry, bringing new people into your life. Stepparents, step-siblings, half-siblings… oh my! You may feel like you’re starring in a never-ending season of Modern Family. Except the only thing being handed out is emotional support and maybe a few awkward family dinners. Adjusting to new family members can be a slow process, but here’s a secret: It’s absolutely okay if it’s weird. Give yourself and them time. And hey, you might even end up loving your new family members in ways you didn’t expect. It’s like a surprise twist ending in a soap opera, and who doesn’t love a plot twist?!

Growing up with divorced parents forces you to figure out who you are when your family structure looks a little different from what you expected. You’ll probably ask yourself some big questions like who am I? What do I want in relationships? And how do I want to be treated? This journey helps you become more self-aware, independent, and strong. You’re building your own identity, not just in reaction to the divorce but in spite of it. You might even come to appreciate the ways your unique upbringing has made you who you are today!

Looking back, what we wish we knew growing up with divorced parents is that while it’s tough, it doesn’t define us. It teaches you resilience, compassion, and the strength to create your own path, no matter how many curveballs life throws your way.